a candle in the dark

i don't want to
i seem to say that a lot
but the darkness on this one
is deafening

i can barely hear myself think
beside the fear drumming in my ears
the potential disenfranchisement is immense
however, i see my humanity at stake
and I've already spent 36 years living
outside of myself.
now that i'm pulling myself back together
i can't risk losing her again.

so I'm going to light my candle
and say
genocide is wrong
and what is happening in Gaza
is genocide.
Israel's 'right to defend itself'
has been perverted to an insane degree.
And I am appalled to be a citizen of a country
blatantly supporting it.

i can not be silent
because i am the one under attack.
not with bombs or gas or drones
but with silence
and learned helplessness
and trained compliance.

my socialized self
the one trained by religion's patter line
is shrieking about the cost of
speaking out
of shining in the dark,
it'll make me a target
i'll get shot at
they might take me down.

it begs me to please, please look away
it's not important
it's not your life,
your struggle
your land
you know all the 'truths'
about the enemy
you can safely leave this in our hands.

except you did a piss poor job
with my life.
so I'm not so trusting now.

and my wild self
the one you tried to tame?
well, she knows we're already all connected
so yes, you are bombing me
and her and the earth all in one,
cause I am my brother's keeper
and it is only because you have forgotten this
that you can commit this atrocity.

i don't know what'll happen when I
put this light out in the world
maybe it'll be blown out
but at least I'll have tried
and said my little say
and perhaps
when each of us
lights our little flame
in our own way,
the darkness will be,
not overcome,
but rather revealed
to have been connecting us all
all along.

R. Nordman